How To Entertain A Chicken- Part One

“Are we having fun, yet?”

-Bill Griffith

Two weeks off for Christmas break. No camps allowed.

“Well, what did the cave people do? They didn’t have these fancy camps.”

“They died by the age of 30, Ray. Unless they got eaten. Then it was sooner.”

I’ll figure it out.

Day One:

Birthday party at Hot Spot! Yay! A reserved diversion, much appreciated. Got to make pink glitter candles that smell of chocolate chip cookies and paint quaint little blue penguins and rainbow spotted unicorns to take home to daddy.

Ran off to join a friend to celebrate Christmas at The San Diego Botanical Gardens Festival of Lights, which looked awesome at dusk. Couldn’t stay (didn’t know it was the opening day, so arrived too early, unexpected), but did get a good three hours in of treehouse and garden play that exhausted the chickens, allowing me my glass of wine at a little after 8.

Day Two:

Home to hangout while we test out a new cleaning service (our previous lady had a medical emergency). Kids actually were really well-behaved, but they were also occupied by the influx of new crafty gifts they had just received from a recent family Christmas gathering. They started getting restless, though, right after the new cleaning people left (what is it with them being so much better behaved in front of other people?!), and began begging me to play yet another game of Popple (the Lion Guard version).

I ran screaming from the house in the evening. Ray relieved me to go to my Orangetheory class, which is always better for him and me. I’m a much better person after a good sweat-fest.

Day Three:

It’s raining. Pouring.

“Make sure you water the plants today,” says Ray over his shoulder, as he heads out the door.

“Erm . . . so . . .should I wash the car, too?”

(Unamused look follows).

Bummer. I was going to go get some last-minute shopping done. Guess I can go tomorrow if it clears up (last-last-minute shopping). Oh well.

Kids are going to learn to wrap presents today. Yippee!!! Maybe I’ll sneak in a couple of theirs with the others . . .

Daddy offered to take them to the movies, so we went out to run errands before meeting up. Once we got out the door, it was like caged animals being set free. They went berserk. They wouldn’t listen to me in the store. They turned me into that harridan hissing mother that looks like they are trying to squash a child’s natural spirit (yes, I got some of those side glances). No movie after all, but they were so nuts, they didn’t even care about that.

Sigh. Thank god for yoga. I puff-puff-passed the children off to Ray, and went out to get my om on.

Day Four:

Still. Pouring.

Hail is entertaining, though. So is gingerbread house decorating and steaming mugs of hot cocoa!

I did learn something. . .hot cocoa on a cold, rainy day sounds lovely. But giving it to home-bound littles is not. Any study that says sugar does not affect the hyperactivity levels of children was not trapped in the house with me today.

I need an indoor trampoline for days like this. At least it would contain the bounces.

Day Five:

Woot! Daddy is home! I am out of here! It’s early, I’m headed to class, and finishing up some last minute shopping errands.

Ray is going to take the kids out to the movies (take two). And bond. Really bond.

I thought I would be back to spend some family time by late afternoon. What I didn’t anticipate was that I would be out of the house all day dealing with more rain and traffic snarls. And people snarls. No one is nice out there this close to Christmas? Haven’t they heard the song?!

As if on cue, the most awesome man in the world behind me in line at Target started belting “Santa Claus is Coming to Town”, and at least a handful of us joined in.

Yes, “us.” You forget, I’ve been homebound. And carbound. And I have music training burning a hole in my body. And will never see these people again.


So, made it through the first week unscathed. Frankly, my kids impressed me by how little they sat in front of the TV. . .could they be expanding their imaginations? Could they be developing true sister bonding?

Could they be lulling me into a false sense of security while they plot against me?

Tomorrow is Saturday, and major prep is in order for Christmas at our house on Sunday. They have this to anticipate, so very little is needed to entertain them. They’ll spend the day making and decorating cookies for Santa and writing him last minute notes.

Merry Christmas and on to next week . . .


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